Domestic

I've been finding myself struggling with concepts of motherhood these days.
I recently was speaking to my cousin, who was struggling with childcare for her infant son. (He's one) After listening to her complicated story, I just blurted out "Why don't you just stay home with him, you're missing out on raising him"
Later when I was relating this story to a friend, I referred to this as "Sarah Palin advice". My friend, is a woman who has chosen to work at home, and by this I mean, doing the day time childcare for her three boys. I assured her that I admire and believe in the importance of working in your home raising your children, (and she didn't need my reassurance). I provided most of the childcare for Olivia, for the first 2.5 years of her life, and then when I went back to work as a junior high teachers, Olivia went to half day Montessori and grandparents, and then full time Montessori. Now, I'm a grad student with a schedule that allows me to be flexible, go on field trips, stay home with her when she is sick and pick her up afterschool. So, why did I characterize my advice as antifeminist? Why do I think childcare is even a feminist issue?
That's actually a bit antiquated or is it? I realized that I am having some sort of schizophrenic episode regarding my beliefs about work that is done at home, much of which involves childcare for women who have them and working outside of the home and having your child in other forms of child care (daycare, nannies, extended family etc.)

With statistics that still indicate that women do the majority of the domestic and child care tasks while still preforming daily work duties outside of the home, I guess it's a bigger "issue" for women then it is for men. In my case, I have no choice but to work, as I supply the income in my home. Child support is pretty minimal. Given the choice, I'm not sure what i would do to be honest? My dad always told me that a woman has to be financially independent. (thanks dad)
But realistically, (and by that I mean the reality of what a human being can actually do in a day or week) it is virtually impossible to do it "all".

I feel I've missed out on raising my own child, even though I've had a lot of flexibility and work that has allowed me to be more present than other mothers had the opportunity to be...